The world I knew (what I was led to believe) has blown up. Approx 4 years ago I woke up to a clearer and more accurate perception of this parodox ,matrix, make believe, fictional on goin drama of humanity. Happened one particular day, felt like I was hit by a 2by4, when I showed up to do a drywall patching job for a very friendly and welcoming gentleman who just had central air condition installed which created many cut outs throughout the house. We chatted for a while,made jokes and laughed a bit then it was time to get to the repairs. He said to go ahead in and get started but don't go upstairs yet, my daughter is really sick and is resting. I saw him completely transform as if all the life in him ran out. He seemed to be panicky,very uncomfortable and not the man I meet outside when he introduced me to his wife. I reached out for a how dee doo hand shake and she looked at my hand as if was pile of shit while she was sitting in splendor in the middle of the best things money can buy barking at her husband for not shutting the door and tracking dirt in the house. The mood went from peace to a total turn around of blame and shame. At first I paid no mind to it for this was the norm until an hour later this beautiful little girl comes downstairs with a curious smile to greet me and check out how I was fixing her house. A bright little angel in front of me happy to see me until the mother interrupted,stole her smile and with a mean voice said to her " You look terrible. You don't look any better today. We need to go to the doctor and increase your medication". Like with dad I saw life disappear. The mother then made her take pills that within ten minutes this little girl became drowsy and then passed out at the breakfast table while dad was trying to feed her. I put my tools down, went outside and cried like never before. I cried and cried. A profound awakening. Mom was keeping her sick. Made me look real deep inside, real deep to discover I was no better than the mother. I too stole power from people, family and my children with out even knowing it. Allthough not as extreme I would foolishly yell at my children with shame and disappointment for leaving wet towels on the floor, hit my dog because she pee peed on the floor and many other manipulative demands. What have I learned? What have I become.? What am I teaching my children. This has got to stop! Next few months I lived everyday committed to this new quest of self improvement. Stumbled across a few videos by Santos, David Icke, Max Igan, Marcus and more that led to Don Miguel Ruiz book The Four Agreements. All really woke my shit up. I was high for months living in bliss seeing beauty in everything! Tried to share this awakening with fam and friends and kinda realized real quick that most people will not let go of their belief system. They will protect that shit with great intensity. I felt like a little boy that found a pet and ask mom if I can keep it please, please ,please only to find mom is discussed with the frog and demanding me to get rid of it. I Learned a lot in the last four years and been down many rabbit holes only to find out you can only show people the door. Be the example for the better future. Feels good to share much love
[deleted user] Thanks for sharing something so personal about yourself, and your experience of waking up. Things happen for a reason, there are no accidents in life, I don't think you just happened onto that family, life was showing you something you needed to see. It's good to be free of our illusions, it's also a terrible burden, and an overwhelming responsibility, it's all beautiful. Welcome to the Circle!